The Christmas Wedding review

A 60+ year old woman gets proposed to three times in one night, in a matter of 10 minutes. Yea right, like that ever happens. I bought this book only because it was by James Patterson, one of the most popular mystery writers out there. I did not like this book at all. I thought that since it was by James Patterson it was gonna have a real big mystery and some twists at the end, but no it didn't. it made you think there was gonna be a surprise ending, I even predicted the most obvious ending and you know what? It was worse. Ok, so I'm gonna try and be fair and explain to you what the book is actually about. Gabby, a mother of four, and let me just get it out there her four are adults, with their own kids, so that puts Gabby at about 60-70 years old. She is a widow, her husband died about three years before and she has just been lonely. So the book starts off with her sending a video message to her kids, really? Do old people do that? Ok so in the video she tells her kids that she is getting married, and the groom is a surprise. Hmmm, why would a grandma keep surprises like that, what for, why the big mystery. That's when I thought that there was going to be some big big mystery revealed at the end. Also the wedding is taking place on Christmas day. So everyone drop your plans, mommy's getting married, on the biggest holiday and you all have to be there. How selfish. Than she sends them a few more videos, in one explaining how she got proposed to three times, on the same night. That is just unbelievable. After Gabby runs in the snow barefoot to follow her teenage grandson, so he doesn't get high, on her wedding day, in her white dress, and then has to wear sneakers, I gave up. I still listened to the audio book, but I completely lost interest. I just wanted it to end, and find out who she marries. And it wasn't that impressive.

I don't know if I would recommend this book to anyone. Maybe people like Gabby, older women or just people who are really really bored and have nothing to do but read boring books. Come on James Patterson, I thought you were better. Now I'm a little hesitant to pick up any of his other books. I've been eying The Honeymoon but now I have my doubts.

The Dark by James Herbert

James Herbert is knows as the equivalent of Stephen King in the UK, with many other horror books under his belt he is known well as the master of dark fiction. Many might be more familiar with his other book "The Fog"which was later made into a movie.  The story follows Chris Bishop who is a paranormal investigator familiar with the events that happened on Willow Road a few years back. He is hesitant about getting into this investigation because he doesn't want to remember what had happened and what he saw that day. The true evil that is responsible for those crimes is back and the town of Beechwood is in peril. People are committing unthinkable acts of violence in the "dark". It is up to Bishop to try and figure out what it is and how to stop it, before it spreads too far.

I was not recommended this book, in fact I was told not to read it because of how gruesome it is , and what do you think I did. I read it. Well I tried to finish it but I gave up a little before the end.  I had very high hopes for this book. I thought it was going to be scary, and I mean, keep me up at night kind of scary. But no it was not. It was boring and I dreaded the idea of picking it up. I tried to finish it, because I just hate not finishing books, but this was bad. At times it was very grotesque and disturbing and I had to try and not picture what I was reading. It was hard for me to follow the story, half the time I didn't know what character was speaking or where they were. I didn't know what was going on half the time and it just didn't have that thing that should have pulled me in. The first few chapters were good, they were engaging and we were introduced to many interesting characters, who then went on to commit crimes, and that was that, we never heard from them again. They were just put in the story to show the reader what The Dark can do. And this kept coming up in the book, we are introduced to someone, only to find out they really don't have anything to do with the main plot, other than be an example. I don't think the book is badly written, it just wasn't my style and I couldn't follow it. It shows the reader that The Dark can exist in anyone, people all over the world are committing crimes every day that no one  thought they were capable of. This story is a good example of evil and how it can manifest itself in someone, and how peoples actions can turn evil in a matter of seconds.

Fifty Shades of Grey by E L James

Lets start by saying that this is by far the worst book I have ever read, I started reading this book because of all the publicity it has been getting, I was hearing about it everywhere, tv, news, radio and people I knew. So I caved, I wanted to know what all the hype was about. I went on Amazon, and of course I couldn't resist, I got the whole set. I figured if the whole freaking world likes this book, I better be prepared and get them all. Well, that was a BIG mistake, what was I thinking? How did I get sucked into this big black hole of crap.

Theme: Mental and Physical abuse in relationships.

Thesis: Sexual abuse in childhood leads to a controlling personality as well as an ignorant mind.

I really think the author is sexually frustrated, being married and having kids, she's letting her imagination run wild. Too wild if you ask me. Most of this is not something that would really happen, yes it's fantasy.

The general field of this book is erotica/romance, not too sure if it fits into romance though. Its more of a young girls fantasy, than romance. And it's written mostly for moms, ages between 30-45. It's mommy porn. It was boring, poorly written, the story is not that exciting, there is no climax, no anticipation, just a flat boring story. The writing style is very informal, not to mention the many grammatical errors. She really could have used the help of an editor

Characters: 

Christian is tall and handsome, oh and rich, He is very sure of himself, always right. He has a need to control Anastasia, as well as other women, he won't let her drive her car because it's old and "dangerous". Telling her when to eat and how much, and then the whole contract deal, I would be out the door already, but no. Naive little Ana thinks this is fine, he will change.

He was adopted as a child, his real mother was a crack whore, he was sexually abused for years as a teenager by his adoptive mothers best friend. Although he says it wasn't abuse because he consented to it and learned a lot. Learned what, how to tie up people to posts and whip them. I just don't get it. It somehow affected him nonetheless. He won't let Anastasia touch him, at all. He definitely has some sort of issues, and deals with them by having kinky sex. What's so attractive about him, his looks, which aren't described in much detail in the first place, or his money. Or his torture chamber, and maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't want to be told when to have sex and how.

But what about little innocent Anastasia, the smart 21 year old college student, who doesn't seem to be all that smart after all. Maybe she is supposed to be some nerdy girl, who has never beed around boys, because the first time she sees a hot guy she's literally tripping over her  own feet. She also keeps talking to her inner goddess. What the F is that, who talks to their inner goddess. She is also insecure about herself, in the first chapter of the book she already says she hates how her friend, even when sick, looks better than she does on her best day.

She's got some self esteem issues, no wonder that as soon as an attractive male shows her some attention she is in love with him.

And of course she is a virgin, which Christian quickly wants to fix for her, because being a virgin is apparently a bad bad thing. What is the matter with her too though. On her first day over at his place, he shows her the red room of pain and instead of running out of there screaming, she thinks it's kind of kinky?

I don't think I would recommend this book to anyone I know, unless they really want to read it. I felt like I was getting dumber as I was reading it, there are no lessons to take away from it at all. I don't think I have any experiences even close to this, I would run and hide if I saw the Room of Torture. But maybe it depends on the readers personal life, if it's not as exciting as this than they might like it.

 

If you're looking for a good romance book with some hot sex scenes, but don't like the stupidity of this one, I would recommend "The Bronze Horseman" by Paullina Simons, and "Outlander" by Diana Gabaldon.